“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs! My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
10:17 I’m never getten over you… you can put your hand in mine cause I’ll be keeping by your side… (this love is a band of gold)
11:43 “I’ll never get over you…”
11:44 In my dream I saw Bella putting my brown pantyhose on. (Yes! I was thinking I needed to put socks on because of one of my dreams)
12:04 This dream is about the high school parking lot; there’s an entrance and an exit. When facing the parking lot, the entrance is on the right side and the exit is on the left. There’s always a common destination, which is to drive to the side left side that’s closest to the school to drop kids off there, then continue driving out through the exit. I saw a red car driving onto the parking lot from the left side (through the exit) and driving /staying on the left side. There were some cars that had come from the right and were right in front of this car, having driven around the group of cars. I vaguely saw that the red car didn’t turn around but kept on staying (going against the grain) and caused a bit of a traffic jam. I’m thinking this means that I need to walk up the left side isle (of the section we always sit) and stay sitting on the left side. I’m also sensing I need to sit in the front row, which means I’d be sitting right in the pastors seat!😭 Because I’m not sure about this, I’m going to sit behind the pastors seat and if I feel led to sit on his seat, then I will… oh my! What are my kids going to say?
12:17 I saw a few pens (probably less than 10) and pencils in a pencil case. (A few more posts until I’m done?)
22:18 Oh nayo (German for, “oh, okay or “okay then;” yo means yes) When I was a little girl I remember my aunts and uncles always saying this after a family gathering when they were done their conversation and were ready to go home, they would say this before leaving. (I need to say this? and then we’re done?)
12:21 I saw big sheets of white paper on the floor in a row like a red carpet, and it was facing me or I was facing them. (Sensing this is in celebration like how I’m the bride of Christ….)
12:26 I saw a red (I think) van carrying a long black storage thing on its roof.
1:33 “Kindred souls and spirits”
3:26 “I have faith in what I see…”
10; 49 “I don’t deserve it, you look perfect tonight.”
5:57 “I don’t deserve this, darling you look perfect tonight…” (I put on my lamp wanting to get up but I fell asleep)
7:02 (my alarm) “I’m so excited! I can’t deny it! I know I know I know I just can’t hide it!!!”
I dreamt that there was a group of us running together. We had stopped at a place to rest and then I was ready to go again. We were trying to get out of this place and right in front of us was a window with a small opening. It was about waist high. It was right in front of me. One person managed to squeeze through. There was a person standing on the left side of the window, feeling like they were looking at me and waiting. When the person managed to squeeze through I was determined and went into the window. There was something in the way like a book, standing upright, right in the middle of the window, but I pushed it away by pushing it forward and opened up the window more and I got through it. I had climbed up, was on my knees and then I stood up feeling victorious; I’m sensing that “Chinese on the other side” means that I’m supposed to sit on the left side rather than the right side where I was planning to sit. Nayo papa…
I had another dream where I was sitting on something small with someone, and we were driving on the left side; on the right side there was something that was shaped like a horn or trumpet that was sucking air into it and was very strong. So whatever was in front of it would be sucked into it. We stayed as far away from it as possible by keeping to the left side, but we could feel the strong pull. But we kept on going and we made it!
Evening: Today has been such a good day, feeling that I finally made it! I’m so thankful for Jesus and the Holy Spirit’s help. I’m going to write more about it tomorrow…
Conversation
Papa, Holy Spirit, words cannot express how thankful I am to You. As I walked today You guided my steps. I’m actually not sure if I made every decision correctly, but I don’t have any feeling like I chose the wrong thing. I love You Papa, Holy Spirit, Jesus. I praise Your Holy name!
I love you My daughter (I sensed the song, “Sweet Caroline…” ..the emphases being on, “sweet.”)
I’m sorry Holy Spirit for relying on others more than on You when it came to knowing what my next steps should be. I know that I’m learning to follow Jesus but there has been a level of confusion that doesn’t need to be there. I’m giving that to You and I’m trusting in You Holy Spirit; please help me to know You more.
I love you My daughter. I will always help you. (I sensed the word, “together.”
Thank-You Papa, Holy Spirit for today, the day of my salvation! It has finally come. I’ve waited years for this day to arrive, and now I’m in the day that it arrived! My heart is so glad, truly rejoicing!
I love you My daughter, and I’m so proud of you!
🤞🏼Goodnight…
September 23:
1:44 I was standing in the foyer, watching two of my pastors (D and D) having fun and talking together about when they first started coming.
3:55 This love is a band of Gold…
9:19 A dream of being in space. Then I had a vague picture of seeing the whole world from a phone.
9:43 “Yes we’re still kids but we’re so in love, fighting against all odds, I know we’ll be alright this time…”
9:45 seeing a pencil with an eraser at the end.
9:48 “Inside out” seeing a toddler being held as it’s sucking a soother.
11:09 Feeling something about a baby.
I’m sensing that I didn’t make it yesterday, and I think it’s because I did’t have the green chicken soup. There was something about the pumpkin (and seeing the beans) that I thought I needed to have so I didn’t even look at the green soup when I passed it. I thought I already made the right choice when I stayed to the left when I chose the chocolates rather than the chips, so I wasn’t thinking to stay, staying on the left. I also forgot about how important green was. Yesterday I had such a good time with my kids, and they also had fun so I’m so glad we went. I bought a set of earrings, the kind that I’ve wanted for a long time; and I bought Bella a beautiful bracelet. Later I went into a place called, House in the Oak Trees and found the “knot” earrings made from leather. I found out from the person, maybe the owner, working there that Birds Hill still has a coffee shop and a horse place close by the coffee shop. At church I was talking with someone about a place by Birds Hill that has horses but it sounded like it was a difficult place to find so I didn’t look more into it then, but when the opportunity comes again I want to find the coffee shop (and look at the horses). Yesterday while standing in line to get a cappuccino or caramel macchiato, I remembered someone said something about the info desk being an Island so I quickly went there and gave for the Uganda missions. I feel a bit humiliated but I went and did the 360 camera thing. Life goes on.. I knew I made the right choice when I sat on the Pastors seat, and yes it was difficult to persuade my kids to sit beside me. I already told them in the car that I was going to do that. Then when someone said that it wasn’t done yet I remembered the part in my dream that I was on my knees and I got up, so then I did that. At the Kids Rock event when I was preparing to say something, a thought came to mind to say something like when I talk with kids, I see myself like a bridge between the kids and the Lord, and to lead them across to have a better understanding of who God is, but at the time I didn’t know how to word it, but this was on my heart to say. I’m planning on going to Smitty’s with my mentor. I”m planning on starting a painting this week. I”m on chapter 9 (page 130) in my Boundaries in Marriage book. I’m going to press into the Lord more about the things He shows and tells me. I bought two new plants. I went to Shopgym this morning, rowing and DB bench presses and double unders, and regular bench presses before that (5X5). I (and the person who I asked) did 4X4.
The Lord is training me and one day I’ll get there…. I’m so thankful for everything God is doing in my life. Even though it’s so difficult, I’m becoming more alive as the days go by and becoming more certain of the things I hope for…❤️🔥