“For He has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of His dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.” Colossians 1:13,14
Conversation
Papa, I love You with all that I am. I believe that I have learned to submit myself to You in difficult situations. You are always faithful and true. I’m hoping I’ve been released from being given a hard time, including the difficulty that’s caused a kind of death within myself for half of my life.
My daughter come, I have called you blessed. You are Mine.
Papa, on the flip side of the coin is my destiny, the purpose You’ve created for me. When can this become a reality? Can it begin today, yesterday?
My daughter, rest. My timing is perfect. I will come.
Papa, You are good all the time. Thank-You for being near to me.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs or intimacy with Him in dreams, because as part of the bride of Christ, Jesus is my husband. My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
12:39 “On the wings of a Snow White dove..”
1:08 Gently explore
3:13 I saw two white open hands beside each other, seeing the palms like they are giving a high five. “And the angels cry, Holy, all creation cries, Holy. You will always be, Holy, Holy forever. Your name, is the highest, Your name, is the greatest Your name, stands above them all. All thrones and dominions all powers, and positions Your name, stands above them all.”
3:26 “And the angels cry, Holy, all creation cries, Holy, You will always be, Holy, Holy forever.”
4:40 “please everybody” (to please everybody)
4:48 Come My daughter, come up. (Feeling like to go upstairs to bed)
5:06 In a vision I vaguely saw someone was on her knees, kneeling with her hands lifted high together, and a man had come and put his hands overtop of hers, covering her hands with his.
5:25 “wait, wait wait” In a dream or vision I saw a woman running up to a man with her arms open wide, running into his arms; his arms were also wide open. I saw her long hair and light coat flying in the wind.
5:35 a vision of seeing about an inch long piece of green celery in a jar that could have been salsa.
5:46 “she always study”
5:48 In a vision I saw someone (sensing a man) had opened a door for someone, and this person had walked through the door. I saw she had a spoon full of red jam in her hand. I sensed that after he opened the door, he had turned around and walked, sensing she was going to follow.
I’m not sure what time it was, but I had a vague picture of seeing 10%.
5:59 In a vision or dream I saw a dog running free in a field; I sensed someone saying that it must feel good to finally be able to run free. Also sensing they had put a tracker on her so that they always knew where she was so she wouldn’t get lost.
6:05 I vaguely saw or sensed a woman in a hotel room, and hearing, “and Caroline” like some people were giving her instructions.
6:08 These could have been my own thoughts, but I heard in my heart, “welcome home.”
6:13 I had a vision of seeing a loaf or loaves of sliced bread on a table at church. There could have been some other baked goods on the table.
6:16 A picture of being in a bus, seeing two people sitting together further to the back, left side, and seeing all the other seats were empty. Seeing all the empty seats, I’m thinking I was standing further to the front.
6:27 “constantly being filled” or “constantly needing to be filled” I had a vague picture of a woman holding a plate that was filled with food. I think I need to read on a regular basis.
6:38 I was spelling my name, saying each letter (Caroline) sensing I was writing it on a paper.
6:40 “You are my strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my all in all.”
6:50 Disciples
7:10 “I like west.” I had a dream where I was in the back of the big truck. Jesus my husband, Bella and myself were sitting on the edge of the truck (with our feet dangling out) while it was backing up; in my dream, backing up was moving forward because we were facing away from the front of the truck. The truck would often brake at places and I had to hold onto something so I wouldn’t fall off, but it felt like I had nothing to hold onto. It felt like my husband was trying to get me to fall so that I would be run over by the tires. Then I had a picture of myself; my hand was on my tummy when the truck had braked, and I put my hands on my tummy to keep myself from falling (I vaguely felt like he was showing me that I had done that, and/or I had seen him looking at me when I learned this about myself). I saw a hydro pole coming closer, and then I was wedged in between the hydro pole and the right side of the truck. Then we had to make a few moves to get us unstuck. Then I was looking at the corner of the vehicle that had hit the hydro pole; I don’t know if I was still in the truck but I was outside somehow, facing that area (the right side of the truck), seeing the corner had hit the hydro pole, just slightly, and that’s why we couldn’t go any further. (Does this have something to do with feeling like I’m intruding?) So we needed to go forward (back up) to realign ourselves to get us unstuck. I have a feeling like I was helping to get realigned. At one point I saw Bella’s hand as we had braked.
Then the scene changed where I was in our boat and we had gone to a residential area, beside a house. I had a feeling like we were close to Jesus’ house so he could see the boat we owned (in waking life we don’t own a boat). The boat turned into a wheelbarrow that Bella was pushing. There was something we needed to go over so Bella lifted me and the whole wheelbarrow over it, and when it landed on the ground I had good balance and felt that the tire had a lot of weight on it when we landed. I was amazed that Bella could lift me up, thinking she was so strong. Then we were in someone’s side yard, kind of towards the back. I saw that my husband was pleased with himself to have brought us there, seeing a big smile on his face as he looked at me, satisfied and facing me. Then I saw the lady who lived there was in her back yard with her kids, looking shy and looking down as her and her kids started walking towards us to go into the house. They had been standing in tall grass that was about as tall as her. I had a faint thought or feeling like we were intruding. I know this is Gods way of strengthening my character and determination (my inner man). I’m going to bake another loaf of bread this afternoon, and also Jam Jams. I’m sensing to read,”A Greater Passion.” In my walk with Jesus I’ve discovered so many times that I don’t know as much as I think I do; how can a person know this truth about themselves if they’re not being tested by God? (someone who they trust could point things out, that’s true) My journey with Jesus is definitely an eye-opener!! I’m so thankful for my spiritual community whom I trust for discernment. We watched about half of Lord of the Rings yesterday. This morning I fried 8 brussels sprouts and mixed together 2 eggs, thyme, garlic, seasoning salt, turmeric, a piece of celery, 1 tomato, cilantro, Johnny’s Garlic Spread. Blessings and love…🙏🏻
I testify that Christ is my firm foundation, the Rock on which I stand. He’s faithful in every season, so why would He fail now? He won’t fail, He won’t fail, He won’t!!!❤️🔥
November 26: 6:46. “Harvest Field” (“You are my strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my all in all. Seeking You )..”as a precious jewel, oh to give up I’d be a fool, You are my all in all. Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is your name. Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is your name.”
6:44 “753” (I think)
10:21 In a dream I saw a car driving on the road, from the left to the right. It was summer, the window was open, and I saw three kids standing on the side foot ledge that was on the car, holding onto the door and getting a ride.
November 27: 11:21 more like Jesus, everyday to be more like Jesus. Crucify my flash with yours. I a made in your, image.
12:50 Rain came wind blew I’m gonna make it through. Safe with you
12:24 rain came wind blew, my house is built on You. I’m safe with You, I’m gonna make it through. Oh I’m gonna make it through. Yes my house is built on You. Christ is my firm foundation, the Rock on which I stand.
2:54 Come
5:54 I had a vision that I asked someone, “Are you 14?” And she said, “yeah.”
7:07 Money money money, in a rich man’s world.”
7:16 “In his freedom I am free. In his blood, you have rescued me”
This morning I drove my mom to her appointment, and it went well! Right now I’m reading at Oakridge. I’ve been thinking about what the Lord has shown me, looking over some past dreams and visions, and I saw one of the entries was something about giving instructions. I’ve been given instructions and I will follow them. I think it really is time to rest, so I won’t do anything anymore at church. I’m trusting in those who have authority over me. I’ve started my email to begin subbing again, and I’m going to send it today. I’m trusting God with my journey. It really is time to rest, and I’m thankful for it. I feel like there is nothing else that I have to say; I’ve said it all and I am fully known. So now is the time to rest and I’m trusting God. I’m so thankful for my church community, for their patience with me as I’m learning how to rest after having been in a time of testing and obedience.
If I feel led to do something, then I will ask either my mentors or the pastor who’s in church that day; I have peace about it and I feel that even though I will have asked and if they say yes, the thing I sense God is leading me to do will still be difficult, but I can still be obedient and do it without the anxiety of maybe getting into trouble for it. This way I stay under the umbrella of blessing and protection of our church. Blessings and love….
November 28: 12:41 And the angels cry, Holy, all creation cries, Holy, You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever.”
1:29 I dreamt of vaguely seeing something like blobs on a row of chairs, a bit dark. Feeling like something is done. “You are lifted high, holy, holy forever”
2:42 “Preparing me for gym” “Holy, Holy forever”
3:31 “2:12” holy forever..
7:06 “Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on. Once more, you open the door, and you’re here in my heart and my heart will go on and on…” I’m sensing the Titanic, my will, doing things my own way, has sunk. This is what’s needed to happen -I can see it now, and I’m finally able to rest.
7:52,7:53 “Perfect submission. All is at rest.” (I know the author of tomorrow has ordered my steps. This is my story, this is my song. I’m praising my risen King and Saviour all the day long. I trust in God, my Saviour the One, who will never fail, He will never fail. I sought the Lord and He heard, and answered. I sought the Lord and He heard, and answered. I sought the Lord and He heard, and answered. That’s why I trust Him, that’s why I trust him!!!)
I sent my email about work yesterday. I’ll be making meatballs and bake a fresh loaf of bread for the potluck tonight. And I’m going to purchase two tickets for “Laughing all the way.” I’m only spending an hour each day with the Lord, so I can’t write long; overall I’m sensing I’m done with this part anyway. We finished watching Lord of the Rings on Tuesday.
November 29: 12:00 playcard (I think)
12:13 Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep
I was with an organization and there were clothing items on the floor that we needed to choose (they were in packages so I only saw that I had chosen a dress afterwards), so I chose a very plain looking dress from the middle of the pile, a dress that no one wanted (I was okay with it so that other people didn’t need to take it if they didn’t want it.) I was already wearing one. Someone who was in charge was there, watching. It felt like I was with someone, following them but I didn’t see them; I followed this person out to go change. Then I sensed there was some kind of urgency. Someone came back from taking a shower and then I was running after him as he was showing me where the showers were. He ran around the building and the shower was behind the wall of the room I had been in. It was a dark, individual room. I had two small black things in my right hand that I didn’t know what they were and I didn’t know what to do with. I saw the person standing on the other side of the doorway and the door was about to close.
Then the scene changed where I was standing, looking at the elementary school, amazed by the changes. I was standing outside, in front of an area between the buildings that used to be open, and I saw they closed this area and made it into a beautiful place where kids could go and play. I saw that this area had a glass wall but there was another wall in front of it that wasn’t glass and it made a hallway; the doors were on the right in this hallway but I couldn’t see the doors from where I was standing. I could see through the top part of the glass wall that they had made it into an area where kids could go and play. I saw the top of some green trees and knew there was grass and a play area.
This afternoon I signed my teaching contract, submitting and trusting God and those around me. I’ve decided to make friends with wherever God leads me, trusting in Gods timing….
November 30: 2:20 I saw a woman wearing a beautiful expensive navy blue dress. V neckline, full skirt, belt around her waist. She was standing in front of me, looking at me. I vaguely saw she was young with long brown hair. I saw her so clearly. Reminds me of a navy blue suit…
3:05 “Her doctor is a very nice person.” My mom was saying this to someone, that my doctor is very nice.
3:10 “Need to give the government control.” Not sure if I heard this right. I think my kids dad was saying this about school. Praying about this. Could represent Jesus, sensing the “government” is Jesus and the church.. I will press into the Lord about this..
3:14 I was kind of asleep, vaguely dreaming about kids rock I think, and I jolted and woke up.
5:15 “Holy, holy forever” I think I dreamt something about choosing something.
5:31 Holy forever
6:18 I dreamt that Pastor M was on a trip, preaching up north. He was behind the pulpit, and the congregation was standing in clear deep water. He had a fedora on and he had some kind of picture on a board, holding it in front of him behind the pulpit. I only saw the top but then he revealed it. It was something about being in a shower. Then as he was talking I saw lots of water coming down like there was a waterfall behind him, and as he was making a point, he went under the waterfall. Everyone cheered or something. Then I sensed to do what he had done, feeling like this was the last time, I fell back into the water, completely submerging into the water and seeing the top of the water above me. The water was so clear. I think I was holding a hat on my head like Lucas’, because I was holding something on my head as I went down.
Then I was on a train and was watching the wall beside the tracks and what people had written on it, pass by. One of the things I saw was 717, my licence plate.
7:07 I had a dream, feeling like I said no about something. “Your name, stands above it all.”
7:16 “I close the deal.”
Here are some things about my dreams: The dress I unknowingly chose was a plain dress, one that I wouldn’t have chosen if I would have known, a dress I was already wearing, I believe represents my life right now.. This morning I saw a picture of someone wearing a beautiful navy blue expensive dress.
The dark shower where the door was about to close with two black things in my hand, I believe represents that I had made a wrong choice? This morning I picked up two small black washer nozzles for the truck. I feel like I’m claustrophobic with how little time I’m allowed to spend in the Bible, prayer and writing. When do I get to press into the Lord about things in my prayer language? I feel like I’m being cut off from life. Lucas is working until 8:30, and afterwards we’re watching a movie, Lucas’ choice, not sure yet which one. God is so good all the time, and I need His grace, mercy, understanding and insight.. I’m trusting in His leading. Blessings and love….🙏🏻🎄❤️🔥
December 1: 3:00 In a dream I saw a round knob, feeling like I had pressed it and that I had made it. “And the angels cry, Holy,
4:49 “We were young and free thinking we would live forever… that’s how it’s always gonna be….”
7:06 I fell asleep a bit in my prayer time downstairs and heard “she sank in the midst of it.” I don’t know if this was from the Lord but I’m going to do my best. “I lift up my hands lay my whole life down, my whole life down before you”.