“But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.” Psalm 13:5
Conversation
Papa, I love You.
I love you My darling, come. “Peace like a river.” I am near. Do not give up. Do not be afraid; I am with you always, even to the end of the age.
Papa I pray for discernment and confirmation. I’m desperate for You!!!
Rest, I have a plan, and My plans are always good:)
Yes they are Papa. I put my trust in You.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs or intimacy with Him in dreams, because as part of the bride of Christ, Jesus is my husband. My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
“I was thinking of school, but I never really thought of” I’m not sure if this was a vision or a dream. I had just laid down to go to sleep and a few moments after I had a picture of a dark cloaked figure leaning down over a cup on the floor. I’m thinking I’m being influenced by the enemy as I sleep. Needing to declare scripture over me before going to bed.
3:29 “and the angels cry, Holy..”
1:14 “You are lifted high, holy, holy forever..”
3:32 “God is 100% on our side”
4:32 “One Obama count” I dreamt I was cutting someone’s hair; then I was behind him and I saw a line across his neck like it was drawn on paper, and I was blending the line so it was softer with a coloured pencil. I looked at the point on my pencil and saw it was dull and kept on softening the line with it. What I was using was dull, not knowing? Softening the line that was drawn because of not knowing? I’m praying into this. I’m sensing and hoping that I won’t receive harsh criticism when I go to paint.
Then I was listening to my crossfit coach who was talking about the security of her home (wondering if it was secure), and I saw her house. It was a picture perfect house and yard. Then I saw some people standing in front of a beautiful scenery, painting it, so she thought she might as well go too, so she also went and stood on the side of the road, painting the scenery. I thought that I should join them. This could represent painting at J’s place.
Then I was cutting a guys thin hair and he picked me up and began carrying me away, and then he was standing in front of me and I saw that there was a section of hair on one side I hadn’t cut off, the same side I had been working on before. I saw there was a section on the other side of his head that was long and needed cutting but I thought I’d finish cutting the side I had already started cutting. So then I cut that whole area of thin longish hair and was cutting the hair by his neck when I woke up. In my dream he talked to me and we were getting along. I’m sensing this represents that I was planning to go back to subbing in the new year, making friends with that. I used to be a hairstylist but hated it, knowing it wasn’t for me, and now when I dream about cutting hair I know that what I’m doing is wrong.
6:04 “how long have I been here?” I saw in a vision that me and another person were rolling a dead person laying in a casket towards a door, and then I saw three steps down where we were bringing it. I’m not sure what this represents; it could represent that a part of me died when I agreed to sub, or when I said I’d sub in the new year. I’m praying into this.
6:32 In a vision I was beside a house and I saw a path beside the house and trees beside the path, though on each side there was lots of space, seeing grass and kind of saw the trees but more knew they were there. It was a peaceful scene. The path was an often walked-on path where I could see the mud because of how often the path was walked on.
6:51 I was standing in front of a door that rolled to the side to open. There was a bigger lady standing in front of where the latch part was on the right, and a smaller lady came in front of her and pulled the door open. There was a small area there with another sliding door. She tried opening that door but the latch on the door (also on the right) was locked. She kept on pulling the latch down to open it, and begged for the door to open but it was locked, and the bigger lady just stood there, watching her. I knew that Jesus was inside. I’m desperate for Jesus, to begin walking with him in the purpose He’s given me.
I feel like I’m striving, trying to get to where I need to go. Internally I’m letting go of trying to do it, to figure everything out, and letting God do it. Internally I’m deciding to rest where I can see that I was striving before, and follow as best as I can; following God and letting everything else fall to the wayside.
7:55 I had a dream where I was on a hospital bed, giving natural birth! I saw the doctor as my baby was coming, seeing his arm wave at me. Then afterward I remembered the feeling and I was reliving the moment, cherishing everything about it, remembering that I had actually given birth to a child and wishing I had video taped it. “It’s a beautiful life, oh oh, it’s a beautiful life, oh oh, it’s a beautiful life. I just want to be here beside you, and stay… “ (Ace of Base)
Before I had this dream I remembered what I had posted (words in yellow and black) and that the Lord pointed it out to me in a dream or vision. In my heart I knew that the time had come for me to make a decision of either running (forget everything and run) or face my fears and follow God/Jesus (face everything and rise). Am I going to chose to forget everything the Lord has done in my heart and in my life and work at something that isn’t my calling? Or do I choose to live in the Kingdom of Light and face everything, my fears and opposition, to follow Jesus and rise to walk in the purpose God has created for me? Yes, this is what I’ve chosen to do. How could I ever walk away from the one who saved my life??? No, I will never be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ!!
Ultimately, everyone needs to face God alone and every person needs to follow God without a middle person, but I know that people are not ready to receive that actuality in me. So here I am, at the mike drop moment where I’m finally picking up the mike. I do have so much to say. I need prayer for understanding and discernment. I’m either following Jesus or the world, and I choose Jesus…. 🤞🏼
December 4: 11:25 “a little garlic and mike should be dropped” I heard in my heart right before waking up.
1:08 I dreamt I was standing in the mouth of a cave, looking out. I think there were a few things in the cave. I’m not sure exactly what this represents but I’m fighting to keep fear away. I was awakened to remember to pursue God above all else.
3:48 In a dream I was carrying an anchor to the side of the foyer by the World Cafe and was going to drop it down there. I’m volunteering this Sunday.
I also dreamt that there was a white toilet. The water tank and the basin part were open. I think I had poured water into it and then it started flushing, and the tank overflowed and spilled into the basin part, which caused more flushing; the water was clean (clear) and the toilet was all white.
4:44 Sensing and heard in my heart, “I love you.” Also sensing that Jesus’ love is true because that is what true love is; undivided faithfulness and devotion….