My Father, I need to connect with you today; I feel like there’s a blank slate in front of me. I hardly feel your presence today in the way I’m used to, yet the knowing part of you with me, is strong.
I’m here my daughter. I’m doing something new in you Caroline.
Okay. Father, I really feel disconnected with you. Normally I feel like I’m eating at a table with you as I write, but today it feels like I’m not eating -not because I’ve done something wrong, but it feels like today’s not the day to be sitting at the table with you. It feels like I’ve been released from this today…will it also be for Thursday?
Yes my daughter.
How about the weekends?
I’ll still be near to you my daughter.
Okay. If I’m thinking wrong, if I’ve misunderstood you, please correct me, but from now on you and I will sit together only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Yes my darling.
I’m thinking about what this means Father. Okay. I’m going to go ahead and only get up early to be with you on those days, and if I’m wrong Holy Spirit, I know to rely on you for correcting me.
All is well my daughter. You may go in peace.
Reflection:
Today when I wrote this, it took me awhile before writing what I thought the Lord was saying to me because this is a directional conversation and I don’t want to be led the wrong way. But even in this, I’m still open for the Lords correction despite how careful and unhurried I was. When I have a word of knowledge, I know that I’ve clearly heard his voice and don’t doubt it in the least because it’s his direct words to me, but in listening prayer, because I’m always learning to hear his voice better, his words still need to go through my imperfect and limited spiritual ears, so it’s this part that I’m always hesitant about because I want to interpret it the right way. The Bible says that we all hear in part, meaning we need one another to have the whole understanding of something the Lord is telling us, and that’s why it’s important to talk about the big things the Lord is telling us to a pastor or another leader in the church, just to make sure we’ve understood correctly and gain a better understanding.
Thinking about today’s conversation with the Lord, I can hardly imagine not setting my alarm for the off days. I’m so hesitant because my flesh always wants to sleep in. I’m going to be so cautious about this because I’ve misunderstood the Lord before. But the Lords always let me know when I’ve been wrong so really, I can rest, knowing that God knows my heart and that I really want to do the right thing.
What’s also clear to me is that the days I get up early to spend time with him are the days that I work for him. To do his work is to do what he’s called me to do. I think this is the way to add funds to our heavenly bank account. I know this doesn’t look like money as we know it, but however it looks and if I get to use some of its benefits here on earth before I get to heaven or not, I know it’s far more valuable than what money represents here on earth. What’s most important is that I listen and do what God says because in the end, I’m responsible for my own growth in relationship with him; I want to be as close to him in heaven as I can possibly be, and I believe starting that relationship here on earth and growing in it, is a big part of that. I think that our growth in relationship with the Lord here on earth is far more important than we realize.