Breathing New Life

Father, Your word says in Isaiah 48:17 that you teach us what is best for us and you direct us in the way we need to go. Please come and do this great thing in my heart and in our conversation together. I’m so desperate for you Father. I feel like I’m in the middle of a crossroad and I don’t know which way to go.

I will help you my dear one -don’t be afraid.

Father, you’ve always made a way where there has been no way, and I know you’ll continue to make a way because you’re my way-maker and my loving Dad.

All things are possible with me my daughter. Do not fear for I am always with you and will direct you in the way you need to go.

Okay Father, but I always feel like there’s more I should be doing, like I’m lagging behind. 

You’re exactly where I need you to be my loved one.

Okay Dad. I can only do my part which will be done well when I trust in you and as I keep following you. I don’t know how long this road will be, but I’m looking deeply into your eyes and I see approval there. I’m not breaking our gaze Father -I’m resolute in following you no matter how long this road is. Walking with you makes every difficult moment worth going through. Being in your presence gives me life and purpose. Thank you for breathing new life in me. 

Your welcome my daughter. Rest, for I am near..

Reflection:

Yesterday the Lord gave me a dream that I don’t completely understand. I had seen that Bella had gotten some red welts on her body, mostly in the front, because someone had breathed on her and her skin was having a reaction. Then I was talking about it with someone and she told me where there was a walk-in clinic. So then the scene changed where I had found a mini train like a kids roller-coaster ride that was the line-up to go to the walk-in. There were two people sitting in the seat in the front-they were the first in line, and we were the second. We were a bit early and the walk-in clinic opened that day around 1:48, or about ten to two. I was talking a bit to them about Bella’s condition when I saw that the skin in front of her heart had welled up so much it was like I could almost see her heart because it was opening up so much…I had a sense that it could hardly be contained (me being emotional about what God is doing maybe?). Then I was standing beside the mini train and saw in the sky that it was dark all around, and like snowflakes fills the sky and is easily blown by the wind, there were huge boulders the size of houses being blown by the wind in one direction, the direction the train was facing. I saw that sometimes the huge boulders would scrape the ground as it was being pushed by the wind, and I also saw that around us there were none so we were safe. Then I looked up deep into the sky and saw powerful lightening flashing in the darkness and the light from the lightening showed that the sky was filled with these boulders -it looked so real, like it was actually happening. Then it was time to go and I noticed Bella wasn’t beside me, so I frantically yelled her name. She had been standing in front of the train but came when I called. There were authorities standing right next to me and it was so important that Bella get on the train right away. ( Here I was sensing an urgency to do the recording that I did yesterday, so that’s why I did it yesterday and not today -I needed to be on board with it because there was an urgency to it) Then we were at the Walk-In and someone brought Bella in to be seen right away -I had a sense they’d be doing some kind of surgery. Then I was walking out into the entrance and I saw my sister Connie was there -I knew it because she had left her appointment card on a table that had her name in it. I saw that my name was also in it with my phone number. I think the walk-in represents that I should walk in what the Lord has shown me about my calling, and my sister Connie represents “the right way to go.” So I got “on the train” to do my recording yesterday, and I need to begin walking in where the Lord is leading me, but I don’t know exactly what this means… do I need to begin taking classes right away? Then I’d need to figure out which courses, and how am I supposed to pay for these courses because I’m pretty sure I’m on my own in this area. If I need to talk with someone about it, how am I supposed to explain my whole journey?

Todays dream: There were two people I was following that were my friends. We were among huge boulders on the ground and they had climbed up on some of them, sitting and talking. Then I noticed a flatter rock that if I flipped it over, it would offer safety for a small animal from predators ( maybe I’m fearing to walk forward?) Then I saw a white wolf eyeing me and I thought I could scare it away on my own but soon realized I couldn’t. It got closer, threatening me so I called out to my two friends for help, and they immediately threw a weapon that resembled a strong thick stick and killed the wolf or immobilized it. In my heart I do fear someones reaction to my recording, and I do see myself retreating because I feel like I’m alone again -I don’t have the answers to how I’m supposed to walk forward in this time frame. 

Then the scene changed again and now I was still with my two friends, maybe Jesus and another person? I could only see vaguely one of these people. We were so high up on a flat surface in the sky (I could almost see the roundness of the earth). It was like they didn’t even notice how high up we were because of how comfortable they were, standing right by the edge, talking. I was crouching as low as I could on the floor because I was so afraid of the height.  I’m almost in tears right now because of how much I need to move forward but I also feel that I can’t – I feel like I’m stuck and can’t move unless the wolf (whatever that represents) is immobilized.