Psalm 13:5,6
“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.”
Conversation
Daddy, please help me open my heart more to you so that I’ll be able to walk with you. I love you and I worship you.
I love you my faithful daughter. I am always your help. Trust me.
Okay Lord, I’m going to trust you. I know that by trusting you, I’m also blessing you.
Reflection
Hey everyone, hope you’re well!! These last few weeks have been really interesting because my kids and I have rediscovered the radio:) I used to listen to it all the time as a teenager and before I was married, then when my kids were really little we’d listen to chvn on the way to church. So now when my kids and I go to the city we always flip the channel to find good songs to listen too:) Last night at 2:45 I woke up with the words, “The eye of a tiger,” on my mind, and then the song with the lyrics, “I’ve got the eye of a tiger..” I think this has to do with speaking, though I’m a quiet person and don’t see myself roaring:)
Two nights ago I dreamt that I was outside and I saw an elegant lady a few feet from me who had what reminds me of a ball except it was a cube. We didn’t speak to each other, but I had a knowing that she was asking me if I’d be ready to lead this time, and I responded in my heart to the lady that I wasn’t ready to lead this time but next time. I also had a desire to prepare ahead of time so that I’d be ready to lead next time. So I was thinking yesterday morning that I’d take this week to prepare myself with the message I’ve put together and next week I’d be ready to record it. Now I’m thinking that the Lord also means for me to lead the conversation on Tuesdays sometimes?? I’m not sure; I’m a bit nervous about it but if the Lord wants me to do it then I will. This would be trust-falling for me, for sure… But I just want to add what else I saw when I looked at the lady. I sensed lots of respect for me and I could also see in her face and the way she held herself that she loved me very much. Just like we didn’t need words to know what the other thought, I could feel and clearly see that she deeply loved me.. When I sensed her asking if I’d lead, she asked in a way that let me know she’d really like me to lead but didn’t put any pressure on me. Everything I read in her and her way of asking makes my heart sob with respect and love in return because this is what my heart longs for. Then the scene changed where I was outside in my car, looking in the review mirror and backing up on a quieter road that ran parallel to a busy highway. Then I stopped and was waiting until I would see the person who I was waiting for, drive along the highway. As soon as I’d see the person drive on the highway, facing the same direction I was facing, then I’d begin to drive and follow them on the busy highway.. I’m thinking that summer could represent the quieter street, and September and all the regular activities is the busier highway, though I’m not sure yet.
Then the scene changed again where I had been upstairs in what felt like a church, helping with kids, but now I was downstairs and I saw a group of younger teenagers. I also saw a toilet that had lots of fresh toilet paper; they were making a mess. There was a teacher downstairs too that I didn’t think he had enough empathy for the kids he taught. Lucas had a difficult time with one of his teachers and I wanted to pull him out of that class because of how difficult it was for him, but we ground through it, hoping that he would be able to learn something from pushing through the difficult instead of just being pulled out of it. Now that I’m writing about it, I’m thinking the Lord is doing the same thing with me; it sure is difficult, but I know that if God wants to keep me where I am for the length of time he requires, then I’ll trust him because he knows best. Then the lady who was the main teacher, who I sensed had asked me to lead, came downstairs and I explained the situation, wanting that teacher who was already downstairs to teach this group of kids, but that teacher didn’t want to. I’m thinking that if that teacher represents me, the not wanting too teach, then I apologize -I want to lead even if I’m not comfortable because I know God knows best and I don’t want to say no to him. In my dream as I was talking to the lady, I counted each teenager and counted 12.
Then the scene changed again where I was walking towards a bathroom and I thought it would stink so I hesitantly went. When I got there I was so surprised that it didn’t stink and that the bathroom was big and was the nicest and most homey/comfortable bathroom I had ever seen. It had wall hangings and many more things and looked really nice. I vaguely remember brown wooden borders around the wall hangings; this was vague but I know that everything was really good quality. Then I had gone somewhere and was on my way back. I noticed that the lady was also walking towards the same bathroom and so I hurried up, hoping I’d get there first:) Then the scene changed where I had been with a group of people and I had turned around and started to leave. But as I was turning around to leave I began singing along with the music really loud, hoping that I would be heard. In reality I don’t know why I’m so shy about singing because it’s something I’ve always loved doing. I took three years of voice lessons before covid and I haven’t been practicing, though I sensed from the Lord at the beginning not to quit. I don’t like practicing if I’m not home alone.
Changing the subject again, a while ago I dreamt that I had hung up my pants; I’ve been wearing skirts and dresses for a little while now but I’m wondering if the Lord wants me to always wear skirts and dresses for the remainder of this pocket of time? Even though I was wearing shorts underneath, I felt awkward at soccer and will wear gym pants for basketball. I was planning to have a caramel macchiato last Sunday after church but the World Cafe wasn’t open, so I’m going to have that or a cappuccino with vanilla flavouring tonight! I filled up the truck yesterday and thought it was neat that the mileage range after filling was exactly 537k:) I didn’t run yesterday; needed to make supper when we got home from the city. This morning at the gym we did both back-squats and bench-press, since Monday got cancelled. I’m going to change my deadlifts on Friday to sumo-deadlifts and see if my back will agree to that a bit more. Planning on baking chocolate chip cookies today, and planning on baking carrot cake sometime soon:) Blessings….