Psalm 71:13
“Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.”
Conversation
Papa, I love you. You are mine.
I love you My daughter, come, follow Me.
Yes Papa, I’m following You.
Papa, the words, “retrieval system” came to mind. Is there something I should know about that? Papa, what do you mean by that?
Rest My daughter. Do you love Me?
I do Papa.
Then come, follow Me, and I will make you a fisher of men.
Reflection
Hello everyone, welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him!
In the dream I had last night I was standing on a narrow ledge higher up, about ceiling height, above a floor that had deep water about the height of my shoulders. There were some people, Lucas could have been in it, and my brother-in-law. I was holding onto something that prevented me from falling, but all of a sudden I started to slip and go down so I grabbed a handle and I was brought down slowly. As I was slowly being brought down in a standing position, I noticed a closed door come into view which indicated that I was near the floor, so I knew I wasn’t going to fall. So then I was standing in water about shoulder depth and I still had my white house coat on and all my clothes. Some family members were waiting there for me, and as I was walking away (I had a feeling like something was done), my brother in law took a thing that I had used with both hands to come down, and was bringing it away. Then I thanked him for bringing it away for me. As I was thanking him, I noticed his neck and face were really big and green, like hulk. He was smiling and muttered something. In the book I’m reading to my kids, one of the characters who had the same name is actually an “alien” from another world, who represents an evil spirit.
In this next dream Bella was with me and it was pitch black outside. We were standing outside beside the road when a police car quickly drove by. I didn’t see the lights or hear the sirens but this was the feeling I had in my dream; I only saw it go by quickly and knew there was an emergency. Then I was driving really fast, coming up to a 4way crossing. I wasn’t in a position to press on the brakes but I managed to and quickly slammed on the brakes, just as I was at the end of the street before I needed to make a left turn. The police car had crossed the intersection and had driven straight, but I was going to make a left turn, so I had stopped and was on the left hand side of the street. I noticed that I hadn’t put my headlights on so I was going to put them on right before I awoke. In waking life I’m wondering if this means that I will spiritually see better? I’m thinking that I need to stop after my next recording..
When I awoke, the song Shallow, by Lady Gaga and Bradly Cooper in the movie, “A Star is Born” was on my mind, “In the sha-ha-sha-ha-llow, In the sha-ha, she-ha-llow, We’re far from the shallow now…. I haven’t heard this song or seen the movie for a long time, so I’m thinking that the Lord is showing me that in our long journey together, I’ve finally hit rock bottom and have started coming back up; so we’re not in the shallow end of the pool any longer!! I hadn’t thought we were in the shallow end for a long time! But if God is saying it then I know it’s true that we’re not in the shallow end any longer and that I’m going into the deep end with him, finally!!
From the last message, I realize that I’m distracted because of the enemy beside me who’s relentless at trying to pull me back, and I’m also distracted by worrying about the place God’s leading me to be. I completely believe, but I’m sensing that I still don’t completely see, though in my dream I was going to put on the headlights. I’m reminded again that I need to do one more recording, and I know too that I need to find time to read a book. My favourite bird is a Pigeon because of how comforting his calling makes me feel, and every time I see one resting on the hydro line, I’m reminded first that God keeps watch over me, and second, that his love is relentless as he keeps encouraging me to keep following him. Right now it’s reading and then doing my 38th recording -to be balanced.. To be completely open, I’m feeling that Jesus must be frustrated with me because I never get it the first time. I think the U represents “university” or studying, and in my dream a little while back I was frustrated that I couldn’t hear words to show me what Jesus wanted, and that the next time I’d just drive right by where he wanted to go even if I knew what he meant. Last Sunday I knew that the U shape pastry represented my dream about standing in the U, trying to fly up into the night air, but I didn’t understand what my dream meant. Now that I’m not going to do the AMP, I’m thinking that that must have been what that represented. The reason I didn’t take the pastry is because my husband had already given me a hard time about wanting to buy a coffee because we were going to go out for lunch. I did buy a caramel macchiato, my favourite. Had I known what the pastry represented, I would have bought it even though my husband wouldn’t have liked it. It doesn’t matter who’s in my life, God will always come first.. I’m deeply relieved that Jesus my husband feels the same way which is so evident in this long, long, long, long, long, long, long journey together. Im actually not sure if the pastry represents that, but this thinking, that it could have been, makes me more determined to not look back to see what others think, and follow where God is leading, with more determination.
The dream about the boulder hitting the bottom of the tank makes me think that I’ve hit bottom, and that the only way to go now is up (balloons -my dream and also Mary Poppins). Now in my soaking time before doing my Bible study and prayer time, I always lay on the floor with a starfish posture. In the second Nanny Mcphee movie, she had caused the golden harvest to come in. I know that God is doing such an amazing thing in my life that I know it’ll have a great impact on others, which could wake up many people and draw them closer to God, but I have no idea about a spiritual harvest.. I’m just thinking that if many people will be impacted by our journey and my journey of believing, that God will be able to work in many peoples hearts and draw them closer to him.. isn’t that a harvest?
This morning at 8:00 there was an open gym and I went to see if I could pass my deadlift PR, and I did! My new pr is 185lbs!! I normally use a 45lb bar for deadlifts which I forgot about when I counted what the weight was, and my couch is the one who pointed it out to me, reminding me, so I’m so excited about that!! But I need to say that before we noticed the true weight of my bar which I had forgotten about, someone tried lifting their bar for deadlift and couldn’t, and of course the next time I tried lifting mine I couldn’t either; I’m just thinking that God made me a follower, and theres nothing I can do to change that, which I don’t want to do because that’s part of who God made me to be. In the way that I’m not following, is that I’m not following what the world wants me to do, but I’m following what God wants me to do, and in that way I’m hoping to be leading others as I follow God/Jesus my husband.
I had another quick dream where I saw that I was wearing a skirt that was cut into many strips about an inch wide, going up. Then Bella had scissors in her hand and made a small cut in the fabric above the strips; it kind of looked like it was along the seam, which she wasn’t supposed to do. I’m not sure what the Lord is referring too. Then right before I woke up I sensed the words, “six months ago.” This is very vague so I’m not sure if its accurate.
God is transforming me by changing the way I think as he works in my heart. I always genuinely do things from my heart if I can do something or not. What’s in the forefront of my mind is Jesus my husband, as I’m being aware at the same time that my heart is being drawn closer to God my Papa, growing intimacy with Him which is the most important. My intimacy with God my Papa has grown very much in the last while, and I feel much closer to Him than I have for the longest time; now that I can look back and notice the difference between now and then. When God gives us a revelation, it truly is a gift because how else can we be aware of what we don’t know? I used to think, and not that long ago, that I was one of the ones who was truly living (because I was spending so much time with God everyday), and most other people weren’t because of how busy with life they were, which resulted with them not spending a lot of time with God every day. Now I think that we are all on a journey with Jesus God’s Son, into believing God’s love for us, and I am no different than anybody else. Having realized this, I think that I have a long ways to go, yet knowing that no-one will ever “arrive” because of how big God is. God will always be far greater than anyone, even as we live eternally in heaven -that’s my Papa! Having said that, I’ve lived with a guarded heart for so long that it’s taken me a long journey to be able to put all my trust in God my Papa and in Jesus my husband, and the key is to know Love. Love is the key. Love is the only thing, the only one that can mend a broken heart, that can fill an empty heart, that can thaw a frozen heart, that can awaken and revive a dormant heart, and can catch a running heart like mine -I was all of those but not anymore! Because Love caught up with me and proved itself to me, I can no longer resist but fully embrace it because I’ve learned that I can trust genuine love.. I feel like I’m only beginning to really know God. God is Love; He is the One and Only. I know that God/Jesus loves me more than I can ever imagine, and because of that I know that I can do anything he asks me to do.. Changing the subject, I was going to run today after the box but the building was locked even though their hours said they’re open today; maybe they opened after that I’m not sure. Okay, I was going to bake cinnamon bread today and banana muffins, but I think I’ll only bake muffins today. We’re having sausage burgers with salad for supper, and maybe play some sort of game and a movie. Alright, I’m leaving my woman cave here at my desk. I hope you all will have a wonderful rest of the weekend! Many blessings to you…✌🏼