Psalm 71:23
“My lips will shout for joy when I sing praises to you –I, whom you have redeemed.”
Conversation
Papa, I love you so much, and I worship you with all my heart. For so long, about 15 years, I’ve taken the time everyday to spend time with you in the morning. Lately I’ve been writing a lot more than I used to and I haven’t had time for other things that are also important. I’m sensing to change my time with you to being in the afternoon or evening instead of the morning. And because of how some days are, I may not have the time to post or even spend as much time with you. This is like a crises for me; help me to sense your presence everyday to know when it’s my time with you.
My faithful daughter, it’s time to rest.
Papa, I feel like You’re breaking up with me (sobbing). Help me to know Your presence in the other ways that I know you’ve invited me to do as well but that I hadn’t had the time to do, such as reading, painting, singing, and having fun with my kids.
I will help you my daughter. Don’t worry, I am always with you.
Reflection
Hello everyone, welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him!
I had a few dreams last night. In the first one I was sitting on the right end of the couch when Jesus my husband came from my right and told me to move over because he wanted to sit where I was sitting. I immediately began moving over to make room for him, and then he sat down where I was sitting and then we were sitting together, but the scene changed right after I began moving over. As I was moving over, I was telling him that it was a bit difficult for me to move. Then the scene changed and I was doing something, and I saw him still sitting on the couch where I had been sitting before, looking straight ahead. I’m not sure what this dream could mean. He told me to move over, not get up, so I know we’re close together. I was also walking around doing things, which felt like it could have been domestic. Now that I’m changing my time with the Lord, I will have more time to do other things that I’ve felt were being neglected.
Then I woke up and fell back asleep and I dreamt that I was standing on the beach with my family, feeling like Lucas was with me. We were looking up at the night sky and I saw millions and millions of stars; so many that it looked like there was hardly any more room for more. Further down I saw a cluster of stars and maybe another planet, and I thought it looked so beautiful. Then Lucas pointed out that a lot of the shining lights that were all over the sky were actually tiny shining ripples and that they weren’t all stars, and I was so amazed by that. I’m thinking that as we let our light shine, it’ll cause a ripple affect where other people will see their light, and more and more people will know God’s love. I had a feeling that there were two layers, the first one were all the stars, and the second were all the ripples. So when the ripples were taken away, we could see the stars much clearer, standing out in the blackness of the sky.
Then the scene changed where aliens and mean people were ruling over us and over our society. We lived in an apartment that the whole wall facing the beach were huge windows. We needed to keep the curtains closed so that we wouldn’t draw anyone’s attention. There were sea creatures that had teeth all the way around their round open mouths that would come up onto shore to eat anyone they could, so we always needed to be aware of them. At first we were allowed to be outside on the beach; I saw them being shot at to keep them at bay, away from the beach. And then we needed to stay inside our apartment with all the curtains closed. At one point one of the kids had opened the curtains all the way, during the day, but then we needed to shut them again. Then I saw that our curtains were swishing back and forth, (like they were waving?) after someone had shut them really quickly, and the movement was catching the attention of the people outside, which would cause them to come up to our apartment and we would be in trouble. I watched the curtain slowly stop moving, really wanting them to stop moving quicker so that the aliens and people wouldn’t come up and do something to us. Then when my family were all inside, including the dad who was laying down on the bed, someone that had authority over us came to the door and wanted the dad to go with them. But he stayed where he was so the person grabbed the toddler I was holding, who in my dream was my son, out of my arms and I began sobbing, trying to hold onto him so they wouldn’t take him, but they pulled him away from me. I had a knowing like they were going to cut off his hand. I’m thinking there will be a time of rest when I’m not supposed to write, and that I’ll have an actual physical break (cutting off the hand of the toddler I was carrying).
Another short dream of my cousin who’s involved with my hometown church; I just saw him looking down, maybe with his finger on his mouth or chin as he was thinking, walking slowly.
This morning at one point when I knew that the Lord was telling me that I need to rest more and do other things that I don’t normally have time for because I write so much, I began panicking. There’s conflict about this at home because my husband thinks my website and my writing are all a waste of time, so to him I’m not doing anything. Then when I’m done writing, I feel so much pressure to quickly get other things done so it doesn’t look like I’m being lazy. I never get everything done and I also never get to just sit and rest. This afternoon I made fruit salad with avocados, blueberries, a banana, three peaches, some oranges and an apple. This was our snack, with a bit of vanilla ice cream, as I read more of, “The Book of the King” by Jerry B. Jenkins and Chris Fabry. I believe there are four books in this series, which is actually one of my favourite series for kids. When I read them before, I could actually hardly put the books down. Its a christian series and there are so many good things to learn from them. I’m going to the box tomorrow; we’re finding our one rep max for Front Squat tomorrow, then one rep max for Strict Press on Wednesday, then on Friday it’s Thrusters. Guten nacht!!!
August 14: Hello everyone, I don’t have a lot to say today. I’m sensing that I’m in a recharging season, so I think what I’ll be posting in this season are my thoughts about what I’m learning from the Lord and not my usual conversational prayers. This morning after my kids went to volunteer at VBS I felt a bit lost in my free time, not knowing what I’d do first, so I dusted off my voice lesson binder and went to the first songs I practiced in 2017; Shenandoah by Mark Mrozinski, Volksliedchen, Old Irish Blessing, Danza, danza, and The Little Spanish Town; I think The Little Spanish Town is my favourite! I also have Vocalises -level 5-7, Resonance. I know it must be boring to sing these, but I’ve always loved them. I also read a few more chapters of the book I’m reading to the kids, and continued to read after they left to do something else:) This morning at the gym my one rep max for front squats is 125lbs. I know it’s actually 130, but of course I dropped the bar after another person did, and not realizing that that’s what happened for my deadlifts. I should have tried again. I had leaned forward a bit so I lost my balance. I hadn’t counted my weight (130lbs), but I think if I would have, I would have tried again. I took a nap when I got back and fell asleep ten minutes before I wanted to get back up, so then I slept in longer and woke up at 7:35, with the lyrics from “Shallow” on my mind; I’m encouraged by this song -I’m glad I’m not in the shallow end any longer.. I’m going to make banana choc chip muffins right after this, the muffins I should have baked the other day. My post was so long the other day that I didn’t have time to check all my punctuations.. I hope I didn’t mess up too badly! Yesterday as I was getting ready to soak in the Lords presence, I looked out of my window and saw the blue sky and green trees and the white clouds and thought the solid colours and the lines together looked neat.. it now reminds me of a sign/ photo I saw the other day. I’m so amazed at the well put-together words of Jesus.. someone said once that he’s the smartest person, and I absolutely agree. Today I was working on our passports .. hoping to get it all done either tomorrow or Friday. I’m hopefully going to post in the morning.. blessings…