“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions -it is by grace you have been saved.” -Ephesians 2:4,5
Conversation
Papa. I love You. Thank-You for Your love and for Your grace. Thank-You that You are gentle and humble in heart. My heart is open to You.
I love you Caroline. You are Mine.
Papa, do You have a word for me today?
Come. Rest. My will, will be done.
Papa sometimes I’ve thought that because it’s taken my heart time to trust, that I’ve been stopping You from what You want to do in my life. I know this could have been true if my heart wasn’t open to You, to learning and being teachable, but my heart has been and is open to You, and I’ve always wanted to be taught by You. So, I’m a bit afraid that I’m going to resist You again. Papa, please help me not to resist You even in the slightest! I’m so desperate for You!
My daughter, fear not, I am near to you.
Papa, my heart is in anguish at the thought of missing You again. What do I need to do in order not to miss You?
Rest. Trust.
Papa, You are gentle and humble in heart. Help my heart to truly know this, in quick decision making moments. Thank-You for Your grace for me if I miss something tomorrow. I’m so desperate for You!
My faithful daughter, always remember that you are Mine.
Yes Papa, this is what’s most important and the best perspective. I always have hope because I am Yours; You are my Hope, and You are my Life.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him. For the past while God has been taking me through a spiritual shower. I believe He’s preparing me for what’s coming up next. He’s purifying my heart so that my heart is clean before Him. It also clears the way for me to hear Holy Spirit better when there’s no mess in the way. I record the times when God says something to me because even in that, there’s meaning. Blessings.
Feb 17: 5:02 (AM) “You are my champion. Giants fall when we stand undefeated, by the One who has conquered it all.”
8:20 “Show me, who you are and fill me, with your heart and lead me, in Your love to those around me. Holy, there is no one like You, There is none beside You, open up my eyes in wonder.” (Build my life)
8:50 “Show me, who you are and fill me, with your heart and lead me, in Your love to those around me.”
In my dream I was in the sanctuary at church and it was filled with people. The message was just done so the people were all standing, beginning to talk and getting ready to leave. I saw my hubby clearly among the people, and he was looking at me with his mouth wide open (in an O shape) like he was yawning. I knew I needed to follow and do the exact same thing so I also opened my mouth like I was yawning, and our eyes locked like we were having a staring contest. As we were looking at each other with our mouths open, the feeling within me to resist was gone. I knew I needed to keep doing it as long as he was doing it, and we did it for about 10-12 seconds. Then he bent over and I saw the side of his form like he was talking to someone (this means that I did it! I didn’t break eye contact! Yay!!) As we were gazing at each other, I saw vaguely beside him, someone standing with him, kind of facing him. So even though I thought someone could be watching, I didn’t allow that to break my gaze. This reminds me of yesterday by the doors at the end of the day, and then he moved slightly so I could only see half of his face.
Then I was walking and my brother Peter had one of his arms around me, loving on me as we walked together. His intention was to see how I was doing. Then I saw my daughter (not Bella). She was walking alone on a path that was inside some kind of tunnel, and it was kind of dark in the tunnel. I saw a lot of ground in the tunnel and a path in the middle of it where it looked like a lot of people had walked. She was about 5or 6 years old and she was calling out “mommy! mommy!” I said something to Peter like, I’ll be right back, and ran to her. When I reached her I think I had put both my hands onto her shoulders as we faced each other, and I desperately said to her, “I’m your mom!” And I could tell that she was so glad to see me, that I had come and that I was her mom. Then I had a few thoughts: In my dream I already had two boys, and I had feelings like, how could I have neglected my own daughter? She didn’t even know who I was and I couldn’t even remember her name! In my dream my daughter didn’t look beautiful. Her forehead on one side was slanted and she had thin hair. The overall sense I got from her was that it was like she was an orphan who didn’t have a sense of belonging. And my feelings about her was that I loved her so much and I was so sorry that I had neglected her. I also had a thought that I had shared a photo of her with my hubby when she was a baby (in that photo she was basically a newborn, laying down, wearing a white baby-dress that went to her feet. This could have been a thin white baby blanket. In this photo of her, I saw the side of her as she was laying down), but I hadn’t shared a recent photo, so my hubby hadn’t seen a recent photo of her.
Later I took a nap (today has been a very slow day for me) I woke up at 1:00 and sensed hearing, “A Little Rock show,” in my heart.
1:39 Woke up/got up. Today Bella was at her friends place with her really good group of friends. My back is really hurting.. I can’t stand up straight; hopefully by tomorrow it’ll be better. Blessings… (The three Marvels practiced and learned to work together in unity!!)
February 18: 6:07 “Friends and Family” (I woke up because I heard in my heart)
8:18 Woke up and got up. (My alarm was at 8:00 but I slept a bit more.)
In my dream I was getting ready to tell a story about a runner. I was in some kind of store, and then I had a very light jacket in my hands that I was going to use for my illustration. This jacket was made out of a material like tin foil. Then I had cut off the hoody part but soon regretted it and thought to pin it back on with pins, thinking it looked more realistic. There was someone with me who agreed with me that I shouldn’t have cut off the hoodie.
Then a big group of people were going around to different mall like places; it was kind of like a game where we’d walk around, having a plan or agenda. In the first location I was with my friends, and the second location I was with my mom, wishing I was with my friends. I thought that maybe next time I’d make sure to talk about which building to go to next with my friends. Then I was in the next “mall” and I heard one of my friends’ voice, and I was glad they were here even though we hadn’t talked about it.
Then I was by a cage that had a black panther in it. I was a few yards away, watching it and thinking that if it really tried to get out, it could probably squeeze through the wooden bars. There was an office that the cage was attached to that had someone in it like a zoo keeper. Then the panther stuck its head through the bars and began pushing, and it was nearly getting through when I began to scream. The zoo keeper heard me and quickly ran out and grabbed the panther and pulled it back in.
In my 10 min of silence with the Lord:
8:52 “Be still and know that I am God.”
8:56 “Come to Me all who are weary, and I will give you rest.”
8:58 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (When I feel afraid, think I’ve lost my way, still You’re there right beside me. Nothing will I fear, as long as You are near. Please be near me to the end.) Sensing His nearness after that.
We have a runner who’s from the California but grew up in Brazil, in our home from Friday to tomorrow. She came here (to Manitoba) to run Actif Epica, a 100 Mile trail run; the race began Friday evening and ended this morning. She received a trophy, The Order Of The Hrimthurs, she ran three races in 48-50 days; The first race was 160 miles, the second was 130 miles, and the third was 100 miles which she ran this weekend. Crazy! (From the northern land of cold, ice and darkness come Hrimthurs (Old Norse “rime thurs”); a tribe of powerful Frost Giants. Strength, cunning and resilience are the way of the mighty Hrimthurs. Among us today, the spirit of the Frost Giants lives on) Tomorrow she’ll go to Festival Du Voyager with us. Today we went to an Arabian restaurant for lunch. My husband had a lamb platter, and Lucas had a beef/chicken wrap and Bella and I had a beef wrap. It was really good and so filling! As I was pulling down the thin foil that was around the wrap, it reminded me of my dream about the thin foil type material that the jacket was made from. After an official run on colder days, runners are given a blanket to use to cover themselves with this type of material because it keeps the heat in (our running friend). This morning I went up for prayer and asked prayer for a family member. I sensed that this was the right thing to do, yay!!! Thank-You Holy Spirit/ Papa for helping me discern Your voice and to enable me to follow You!
Today I had a snack wrapped in a clear plastic bag and a gingerbread latte; they put a small ginger snap/cracker at the top! Changing the subject, the trophy reminds me of a dream I had a long time ago where I was in a submarine, being chased by an enemy, and we quickly went through an opening in the water that had a gate which closed right before the enemy could get us. The gate looked like the shape of the trophy. God has such an amazing imagination with how he leads us and shows us things. They’re like puzzle pieces He puts together along our journey with Him!! ☕️
Feb 19: 3:07 “Show me, who You are and fill me, with Your heart/love and lead me, in Your love to those around me.”
In my dream I already had brought the yellow blanket and now I was carrying a blue blanket for my hubby and myself to our mattress. Dreamt vaguely that we were in each others arms. In waking life I had brought a yellow blanket to the mattress for our Brazilian guest to use. She stayed until this morning.
6:14 cooking a beef bone for broth/soup
6:21/22 I had a sense of launching something in three universes/3 countries.
6:38 show me, who You are and fill me, with Your love and use me
6:55 Four things blinking on a hydro plant? It was like there were four things being highlighted one at a time, leading upward at an angle. The last one/highest one, looked a bit different than the others. (Then I woke up at these times 7:01 717)
I also dreamt that I was seeing myself from the side, and I saw that my tummy was really big like I was pregnant full term. It could also just show that I’m feeling like I need to run more.
In this dream I saw someone closeup, singing beautifully, using some kind of technique with her voice. This encourages me to keep practicing voice lessons at home. I got up and looked at the time and it was 9:19. (will be posting more today, a new one for the 20th)